August 15, 2006

Antibodies

My doctor reviewed my blood work and said, "You've got antibodies." I smartly responded with, "Well, of course I've got antibodies." She laughed and said, "Yeah, but these are attacking you." She got my attention with that statement. She continued, "You have tested positive for gluten sensitivity. You will need to remove wheat from your diet...." Hmmmmmm........

I went to one of our larger natural & organic food markets. It seemed so vast. I'd never noticed gluten free foods in there on previous trips. How was I supposed to find them? I sought help from Customer Service. The young lady behind the counter handed me a map and said the gluten free foods are marked in each aisle. "Markings? What markings?" I ask. "The ones on each package," she tells me. "So, I need to look at all the food packages?" She smiled and said, "Yes." "Don't you have a food list?" I ask. "No," she smiled. Not a stellar moment for customer service...

The pain of that visit...it took so long. I was sick of grocery stores by the time I had read my way down 3 aisles. When I found the gluten free cookies, I was thrilled. I was really looking forward to savoring one on the ride home. When I bit into the first one I just about choked...these were disgusting...bland, crumbly and a funky after taste. There has to be something better than this....sure there is....I know there is...I'll keep looking.

Why am I writing this down for all to read? I was frustrated with my search for tasty baked goods. I had made more yuck and chucks than I cared to think about. Plus I was thoroughly disgusted by the amount of money I'd spent on gluten free foods that seemed to taste like paper. Where were the reviews of gluten free foods...or of gluten free recipes... Didn't anybody get creative or try some of the really interesting flours? If they did, what was the verdict? I wanted to know...maybe someone else did too.

I decided to document my journey after experiencing some spectacular failures and some wonderful successes. Some of my failures included the discovery that you shouldn't cook gluten free pumpkin bread in the bread maker. The smell of burning pumpkin bread will take 3 days to get out of your house. Or yellow pea flour really isn't all that mellow (it was described as a mellow tasting flour in a well known gluten free cook book) ...well okay so it is before it's cooked, but after it's cooked your bread will be overcome by the taste of peas. Maybe I can even save some folks a little money so they won't have to throw this stuff out in the trash. And by the way, don't bother leaving the pea bread out for the birds...they won't eat it.

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